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I keep having discussions with people who are asking me what homeschooling is, but I haven't found a good answer for that one yet. I do, however, have a great list of things that homeschooling isn't, so here we go!

Homeschooling doesn't look the same anywhere
This is one of those key truths that needs to be understood. We pay lip-service to the fact that all families are different, and they all function differently, but this is honestly the truth. There are a few families that do well with a very structured home where it looks exactly like public schooling, but at the kitchen table. I think that's actually quite rare, though. What I do is different, not only from another house, but between the children. My oldest and my middle do not learn the same way, do not have the same passions, and do not work to the same motivations! I cannot have them learning as though I was cutting out cookies. It's all individual and I think the least stressful homes are where the parents embrace that completely.

Homeschooling isn't difficult
Don't shoot me! What I mean by this is that it doesn't have to be difficult. Parenting is difficult, and I can't do anything about that, but homeschooling can be as easy as signing your kids up for an online program that teaches them everything they need to know. The internet has made things very simple. It seems like this giant hill one has to conquer, but it just isn't so. You can make your child's educational experience more parent intensive. I refer to this as the pinterest movement. Or you can take the lazy approach (which I prefer) and put the work on the kids.

Because...
Homeschooling isn't a competition
A lot of people turn it into a competition, but it truly isn't. In school settings there is a race to the top in math and science. I have a child that's absolutely brilliant with history. He's well read, and he makes me look like the absolutely stellar parent, but in school, those gifts might not be appreciated for what they are. I have another child who can rewire my house (he's eight), but can't read well. How would he look in a school?

We're not all going to be scientists. We shouldn't all be scientists. When you're at home, you're competing against yourself, and maybe your siblings, to be the person you were designed to be. Your talents, gifts, passions, and goals become number one on the list. You get to do exactly what you want to do with your education. If you need three years to learn algebra, but pick up Latin as though you were born speaking it, no one cares.

Most importantly, it needs to not be a competition for parents to brag about their kids. We will, because we will, but your kid who can recite Poe is no better (or worse) than my kid who taught himself Morse Code.

Your homeschooler isn't behind if they're not reading at four
Some of the odd ducks do, and we find their feathers adorable. If all your four-year-old wants to do is eat play dough, rock on.
Your homeschooler isn't behind if they're not reading well at age nine. Seriously. They'll get there. Some may need therapy, and that's okay, but that doesn't mean they're behind. It means they are on their own path, walking their own pace. Learning is a lifelong event, not a race. They move as fast as they move. The end.
Your homeschooler is not behind if they're not reading well at age fifteen. Are you seeing the pattern here? As long as they're making progress, trying, getting services if they need them, it's still okay for them to not be there yet.

Homeschooling isn't perfect
But nothing is. Don't walk in thinking it will be perfect. It won't be. You will struggle, your kids will struggle, and it all comes down to letting go of expectations that have been drilled into your head since you were young. If you went to a school, then you feel like school should look like a rubber ducky. I'm telling you that schooling can look like anything. It takes a bit to wrap your head around that (it took me years!)

Homeschooling isn't for everyone
But nothing is. If it isn't right for you, your family, your lifestyle (or heck, you don't even have kids!) that's okay! I can respect other people's choices when I know they're just different choices, not bad ones. I won't respect someone beating or starving their kids. I can respect someone picking a different religion, car, or hairstyle.

I say this because...
Homeschooling is not a second rate education
In a recent talk with a friend, who is a brilliant woman who teaches teachers, I explained to her exactly what my homeschooling philosophy entailed and she replied that's exactly what she wants her teachers to learn, but it's difficult to put it in place with a lot of kids.

In some ways, homeschooling is a better educational opportunity. In some ways, it isn't. Take the good with the bad. Homeschooled kids end up in college at the same, or higher rates than their public schooled peers. They finish college at slightly higher rates than their public schooled peers. They are involved in their communities, they vote more in elections, they do just fine in life. Or they don't. Some people just won't, and probably wouldn't have even in a public school. That's life.

Homeschooling isn't my education
This is not going to be universal for all homeschooling parents, so take this one as my philosophy. I am a control freak. My middle child has made it his life's mission to break me into tiny pieces and ruin any sense of control I ever had over my world. Because of some health issues, we have had to be very careful with my stubborn, hard-headed, brilliant middle kid. I have been so frustrated with him making bad choice after bad choice, knowing that he was pushing himself towards poorer health. We've talked to him. We've explained to him. We've used the doctor against him. We've punished, rewarded, and basically tried everything you can (no, we really have, don't offer suggestions). I hit a wall. That wall was this: I'm going to get him to eighteen knowing exactly what he needs to do to live a full, healthy life, and after that it's on him. It's his life, his body, his will-power. It's not mine. I can continue to enforce because he lives under my roof, but the ultimate choice is his. I did the best I could. The rest is on his shoulders.

This is a hard place to be as a parent. Ideally, your child becomes a doctor so you can brag to all your friends about just how amazing that kid is, but us parents know those kids are going to go whatever way they want to go.

The same applies to their education. I can force them to be "educated". I can demand they learn facts and regurgitate them back to me for a test. I can prove that, for a short time, my kid has a good memory for things he doesn't give a crap about. What did I prove? Nothing. What kind of job asks a person to memorize a couple of facts for a week, take a test, then do it again the next week with another set of facts?

If I have to force my kids to do something, they won't care and won't put in the work to truly embrace the information. Do I insist my kids learn certain things? You betcha. Basic math, reading, spelling, grammar, history, and geography- those are the things they need to know to not be a useless slug in the world. From there we move on to cooking, cleaning, laundry, balancing check books, car and house repairs, etc. Those are things they will learn, memorize, etc because that's what they need to be an adult.

From there- one child wants to spent eighteen months on an in depth study of the Civil War. Okay. The other wants to build machines with Legos. Fine. An entire week is devoted to learning chess? Great. Coding lessons using Minecraft? Perfect. There's a spelling bee coming up and I ask my kid who hates spelling if he wants to participate, anticipating him saying no. He says yes, then on his own begins to study and practice for it. These are lessons they wanted. These were things they chose, they had control over, they found value in.

You might be thinking either, that sounds amazing, or life isn't unicorns pooping rainbows idiot, that's not the real world.

So let me ask you this: What did you learn in third grade?

I bet you the only things you remember were the things that fascinated you.

Homeschooling isn't time consuming
In fact, it's extremely efficient. What does it take for Kindergarten? Thirty to forty-five minutes a day. Fifth grade? Three hours.

What did it take for my sixth grader to fly through towards late high school and college level on most of his subjects? Four to six hours a day.

Homeschooling isn't Public Schooling
I'm sure you've figured it out by now, after all I've said. What does my day look like? I stumble from bed, either find the kids at school work or watching TV. I say "get to it" followed by my brain kicking into gear and asking, "did you let the chickens out?" to which I get a "yes" or someone running for their shoes. I change a diaper, try to get breakfast, attempt to wake up (I'm not a morning person), then I get to work. I work from home either sewing or writing. My oldest does what he's supposed to because most oldest children are just weird that way, and the Jan Brady gets distracted about five-hundred times in the day. Every time I walk past him I ask if he'd done any of his school work to which I get a "yes" or an "UHHHHHHHG!" because Jan Brady. I nudge him back to work if he hasn't done at least an hour that day, otherwise I let him play. He's on grade level except for reading. The toddler ends up on the iPad a lot because otherwise he tends to try to interrupt school work at every turn. Yay for abcmouse.com on the iPad.

My neighbor says I make her feel better about parenting because my philosophy tends to be, "you're not dead? That's cool" and let them go. I wouldn't say I'm a free-range parent, but again, it's definitely up there. I'll think they're working, then all the sudden I hear the noise of a game being played, or I realize no one is in the house anymore. Then they come back in and go back to work. I have to stay on my middle to at least accomplish something, but my oldest is 100% on his own.

Homeschooling isn't hard on families
It actually makes family time very easy. There is no fight at the end of the day to finish up homework. Imagine that for a moment. "You didn't finish your school work today? Eh, tomorrow is good." That's the way the real world works! Kids get to be done, and go outside to be kids. It's a beautiful thing.

Homeschooling isn't difficult if you're not a morning person
In fact, I'm barely coherent before nine o'clock most mornings. It's become so habitual that my oldest children feed the toddler breakfast just to shut him up. We can stay up late to do something the night before, and it doesn't matter because we don't have anywhere to be the next morning.

Homeschooling isn't lonely
If it is, you're not making the effort to connect with the millions of other homeschooling families around the country... except if you live in the backwoods of Montana and your nearest neighbor is five hundred miles away, in which case I apologize.

Homeschooling parents don't have to have advanced degrees
I know nothing, and I do mean nothing, about Hadrian's Wall (except that it's in England and I think the Roman's built it). My kid does, though. He found a lecture, learned all about it, researched a ton... all on his own. I did nothing. I knew (know!) nothing. The internet and the library are all they need. Youtube has how-to's on just about everything. This is the easiest it has ever been to get an education!

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My point is this- whatever you think homeschooling is, it probably isn't, and whatever you imagine it will be, it won't be that way. No matter what, though, it's an amazing journey that sometimes sucks (because parenting sucks) and sometimes makes you feel like all is right in your world.

Then there will be the day when you look at these beasts you gave birth to and say, "We're not doing anything today- you get to watch TV" and no one cares...

***
If you have any suggestions for other things that homeschooling isn't, please let me know!
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I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for awhile, because frankly we all go through this in our time as homeschoolers. They are, remarkably, similar to grieving.

Denial
You aren't going to homeschool because homeschoolers are weird and what they're doing is abnormal. Not only that, but you can't do it. You can't be with your kids constantly. You can't teach them because you don't know enough to teach them. You don't want to deal with all of the negative things that will be said about you and your kids. Plus homeschooled kids are freaks. They all end up social misfits.

You never considered homeschooling. Everyone sends their kid to public school, except for the few who can afford a private school. Those people are all religious right? They're religious, and they want to keep their kids away from everyone else. That's what homeschooling is, like those Duggars who have too many kids. It's just not normal. My kid wouldn't get to go to prom. That's just wrong. They'll miss out on everything.

All of that bleeds into...

Anger
You shouldn't have to be considering something that's going to completely derail your life! The schools should be protecting your child from the bullies! You pay so much money in taxes, that the schools should be taking care of this.

Or

They have all these resources and yet they still can't help your child succeed in school! Your kid keeps telling you how dumb they are because they're not reading on grade level, but you see that they can play the piano beautifully. They don't appreciate the skills your child has and it's infuriating to know that no one sees where your child is brilliant! All they see is a child who is going to fail the stupid test, which will make the teacher look bad. It's disgusting! You can't even be mad at the teacher, because the teacher is stuck in the same system. But the system is so big, so entrenched, that you know you can't change it and it leaves you helpless and immobile.

Or

You didn't want to be here! You didn't want to be arguing with a school that won't let you take your child to his grandmother's funeral because it means missing an entire week of school. You think it's ridiculous that your entire life now revolves around someone else telling you when you can interact with your child. You don't like that your kid's life now belongs to the school. But this is what everyone else does, right

Bargaining
You'll just try this for a year. You're not one of those parents. You don't want to have total control over your kid's life. You just need a small break from the (insert excuse here). Things were just too out of hand and you really can't take much more of this. Your kid is drowning from everything and you all just need a break. You'll just be here for a bit, then they'll go back while the school works on the problem. They promised they'd work on it. You think they will. You know the teachers and principals care about the kids, that they're in an impossible situation. You tell the grandparents it's just for a short time. It's not forever, just a chance for your child to catch up. You did a lot of research and learned that it's not a big deal to homeschool, that the kids tend to do fine.

It's not forever!

Depression
Your child is a mess. The first week of homeschooling and it's already an epic fail. They're upset, moody, clingy, and you realize that it was a huge failure. You shouldn't have pulled them from school. They were happier there, and now you're both miserable at home. They don't want to do the workbooks you carefully selected. They won't listen to you. All you do is nag your kid. All you want is to send them off and give in to everyone who ever told you that you were going to fail at this. You seek out the experienced homeschooling moms who tell you to back off, but you can't do that because your child will fall behind.

You and your child sink deeper into a pit as everything continues to fall apart. It's a struggle to even work up the energy to get out of bed because this is not how you saw homeschooling. You thought your child would be happier here, at home, working on math together and going on educational field trips. Instead, you've been in the same set of pajamas for three days straight.

You hit the wall.

It's too much stress.

Finally...

Acceptance
The thing you saw as homeschooling doesn't exist, except for a few people who actually enjoy workbooks. You finally see that your child needs a deschooling time and after a few months, they were ready to go. They hated the workbooks because they saw, all along, what you didn't see- it's pointless busy work. They tell you, either in words or actions, exactly how they want to learn. You do go on some field trips, but maybe not as many as you'd like. You'll work on it as soon as you manage to get dressed more than twice a week. You see your kid smiling at the play groups with the other homeschooled kids. These kids aren't like the other kids you've met. They aren't weird. They do sometimes get a little grumpy or mean, but almost no one is bullying. These kids are bright. They talk to people. Sometimes they're shy, sometimes not. It occurs to you that people are either introverts or extroverts, no matter where they go to school. You find acceptance in the oddest places, often from a mom who does nothing the way you do, but still says you're doing a great job.

You meet a mother who has been at this homeschooling thing for a long time and you see just how relaxed and laid back she appears to be. You ask her what she's doing and she tells you nothing. You don't know how to believe that, but you listen as she explains that she taught her children to seek out the answers to their questions, then she sat back to watch. She's there to guide, to drive, to be the personal assistant on their educational journey. You are doubtful that can work until you learn her children are flourishing in their given areas of gifts and passions. She tells you that it is the child's education, not hers. It's theirs to earn, to cherish. She doesn't have to push hard for them to fly from the nest. You ask her how she's teaching advanced subjects, but she laughs and says she doesn't. "I find, or help them find, the resources. They find their own answers." She isn't schooling them. She isn't training them to walk the straight and narrow line. She's completely unconcerned that her child isn't learning on the "normal" path because her child has shown that they are learning other things in other ways.

You wonder how she isn't going crazy, but when she says life is less stressful this way, you can see why she says that. When you stopped worrying about making public school happen at home, and accepted homeschooling as something else altogether, the pressure lifts.

You start to accept that someday, you're going to be that laid-back parent who has been there, done that, made all the mistakes, and you'll be able to lift the new parents up. They look on their lives with humility, humor, and understand. Someday, that will be you. You know it isn't going to be sunshine, roses, or easy, but the reasons you started homeschooling still stand. Maybe you'll keep going, or maybe you won't, and neither is a wrong choice because you'll have an appreciation for both sides. You'll know you're not powerless to stop problems before they start. You'll be okay and so will your kid and you'll appreciate, more than you ever did before, how that was really the reason you started this journey. Wherever the road takes you, you'll walk it as a family. Together.
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I'm faced with many things that I could not have foreseen. Never did I ever think that I would bury 2 child in 6 months time. Never did I expect to even have a miscarriage. I never thought I would lose my child, let alone two. Never would I have thought that I could be this strong.

I am doing better than I could have predicted. This is so hard and so painful, but God has given me the strength I begged for, and at the same time never wanted to have. I never wanted to have the strength to survive with grace and courage and yet I find that I have both. I don't have answers and I don't need them. I don't know why, but God does and I trust Him. I begged God today for the baby to be alive. I begged and pleaded but it wasn't meant to be and in the moments where I had doubts that the baby was alive, I begged for His strength so that I could make it through. He said no to one of my prayers and yes to the other. He gave me His strength and it is through Him that I will make it through again.

I am not angry with God. I have never been angry with God and it is one of the graces that He gave me. More over I do not want to be angry with God. I also do not feel like a failure. I know I did all I could for my baby and I tried my best. This was meant to be. I'm not angry with myself. I feel blessed. I have Andrew and Luke and I was blessed to have Zach and this baby for as long as I had them. I vowed, when I got pregnant this time, that I would enjoy every minute and never wallow in the hard times that pregnancy brings and I think that I did very well. I enjoyed this baby, knowing that my time might be fleeting and that I may never hold my baby in my hands alive. I loved it as best as I could and I hoped for the best, even though I knew it might end up being the worst. Life is too precious to hold out only for the worst.

This remains the saddest part of my life. I don't have a grief bigger than losing my children. I am hoping that we will be able to tell if the baby is a boy or girl. If we can, we have decided that if the baby is a boy, we will name him Tobias which means "gift from God" and if it is a girl, we will name her Grace as it is only grace that gets us through. If we can't tell, then I think we might name it Angel.

I don't know if the future will hold more pregnancies or not. I don't know if we will move towards adopting or not. I don't know and I think it needs a lot of prayerful consideration before we go one way or the other. It is a decision that Jonathan and I will make together in the coming months.

Thank you all for your prayers and your positive thoughts and well wishes! You are truly a God given blessing to me (whether you believe it or not, it's what I believe) and I am so grateful for each of you!

Much Love!
~Sarah
Current Mood:
curious reflective
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Totally unrelated- James this would make a FABULOUS icon- Voldie and Dumby? Imagine the words that could be flashing across the screen... oh the possibilities!

Second, we had a fun weekend with old friends. It was great reconnecting. I found myself going on and on again about natural childbirth to the point that I got into a heated debate with my friend Tomii, and even had another friend (who's father is a pastor) shoot me down for letting my faith in God lead how I give birth.

These (my dear friends who were part of this conversation and are reading this) made me think a lot, but in the end pushed me to believe more that where I am going is the right path for ME.

If my talks on God bore you, jump ship now. If not, then let's crack on and see where this leads me, because I don't even know exactly where it is that I'm going.

First of all, this is important to me because I had Zach so recently and this is all fresh in my mind and I'm less likely to temper anything I say because of that. I will not apologize for that and beg you give me a bit more time and I will go back to normal. Right now, this is part of my natural healing process. If it hurts you in any way, then do let me know and I'll try to make amends, but if it just annoys you, then I'd appreciate you trying to ignore me for a bit. I want only for everyone to be educated and informed. When it comes to the end of it, if you want a planned c/section and you know all the risks to you and the baby then okay- that's your call, it's your life to live, not mine.

So to begin. We died in the past, at much greater rates, due to disease and illness. Modern medical sciences (and common sense when it comes to hand washing) have lead to a longer life span, and cures for many common illnesses and maladies.

I state categorically that being pregnant and having a baby is not (for most people) an illness or a malady. I don't think that babies were intended as a creative way to kill us, either (at least before they're teenagers). God intended for our children to be a gift, not something that will kill most of us. It seems to me that the way modern medicine treats every pregnancy is the pregnancy is a life threatening disease that with proper management will not kill the woman, when in fact, only about 15 in 100,000 women die in child birth in America (reference). This goes against what I believe. YES child birth can kill me! Is it likely? No. It's not likely at all. Am I (personally) willing to make another birth a traumatic, dangerous and possibly life threatening situation by being in a hospital again? No. My experience of hospital births are that THEY are life threatening- not the birth itself.

I don't know why Zach died. I have no clue and I doubt I will know until I'm in heaven and I'm okay with that. I don't need an answer, because I have faith that there is a reason, that God has it in His control and there is a plan. If I were to die at home giving birth, then the odds are that I would have died in the hospital too because the death rates are comparable (reference). In a study of low risk women done in America and Canada, the same was found, that the death rates for home birth were comparable for babies and no mothers died (it was a small study, only involving 5500 women) (reference). What was also found is that the rates of intervention for the 12% who did transfer to hospitals, had fewer interventions than those who had planned hospital births. So I'll take those odds, as the indications are that they are the same, in and out of hospitals.

As for a baby's death- the death rate was at 6.87 deaths per 1,000 births in 2005 (reference pg.66) and the Netherlands did a large study which concluded that they're higher death rate was no influenced by the fact that 30% of their women deliver at home. The same number of babies died in home births as in hospital births (in low-risk situations).

If I felt like I should deliver in a hospital, I would. I have fantastic instincts and they don't fail me very often- when they do, I wasn't listening properly. I go where God leads me and I follow my heart and my heart says "stay away from interventions" because this is NOT how God intended for us to give birth. My faith is that if I put my trust in God (provided there are no indicators otherwise that something might be wrong like a placenta previa) then it will be okay. If it's not, then it's not. I've dealt with that already and we can't prove I am not the reason that Zach died. Certainly the only way that I could guarantee Zach a dignified birth was to have him at home. In a hospital, even in a Catholic, conservative, hospital a D&C was being pushed on me, and his tiny body would have been ripped to pieces. It's horrible and cruel that a doctor, who should have been better because she works with home birth midwives, would try to scare me into a D&C while admitting flat out that she was worried about being sued.

Anyway, as the numbers indicate that a new baby would have just as safe of a birth as in a hospital as at home, and I am 10 minutes from several hospitals with NICUs and less than 20 minutes from Johns Hopkins and I live less than 2 miles from the nearest paramedics, I see no problem in my choice to deliver at home and put my life and my (hopefully) future baby's lives in God's hands. I don't, in fact, see any problem with this at all. If I lived 100 miles from the nearest hospital then I think it would be unwise to deliver at home (or at least at MY home- maybe a hotel, though).

Because quite frankly, my life is in better hands when they're in God's hands than in a doctor's. That may mean that it's my time to go, but if it's my time, no doctor will be able to stop that, because despite the major god complex that many doctors have, they are not, in fact, God.

THAT is where my faith is. If you're not good with that, if you think I'm foolish, if you are now ready to call the loony bin on me, I don't care. I'm not ashamed of this, and I have the utmost calm over it. This is, for now, where my instincts (where God, if you will) are leading me. God didn't let me down with having Zach, so I'm not going to betray His support when I needed it, by turning my back on Him and putting my faith elsewhere.

Like I said, very passionate. This is my life, my choice, I've done my homework, and you have a quick link to it yourself now, and I believe that God didn't design us to be a lemon when it comes to childbirth.

Everything can cause death; driving a car, drinking too much water, eating too much, walking down a street, smoking. Pretty much anything can lead to a death and I don't play the "what if" games. Something bad might have happened to Luke if he'd been born at home, that's very possible and I might have said "oh if only I'd been in a hospital, he'd have been okay" well no, because what I know is that because I was in a hospital, I nearly died- I was nearly one of those 15 per 100,000 women and that CAUSE of death could ONLY have happened at the hospital because we don't keep an anesthesiologist in our medicine cabinet. There is no "what if" if you want to lead a sane life because you can't ever know what would have happened and I am (THANKFULLY) living proof that stupidity and random accidents can and do kill women in hospitals in ways that can only happen in a hospital.

If you still feel safer being in a hospital, then you're likely to do better in a hospital in giving birth because birth is a mental game as much as a physical. My mentality is that God will get me through this next time and I'll do a better job of taking care of myself so my BP doesn't go up.

As I said to a friend of mine this weekend (who had stalled in labor with her child and ended up with pictocin) "Can you poop away from home?" Gross, right? Relevant. I can't and neither could she. TMI maybe, but I can't do it. The same muscles that control your rectum also control the dilation of the cervix, which is how you get to that magic number of 10cm.

If you can poop anywhere, then hospital births could be okay for you. As for me, uhm... I'd rather just do that in the privacy of my own home, thanks.
Current Mood:
contemplative contemplative
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They say that you should never have to bury a child. They weren't lying.

Yesterday Jonathan dug the hole for Zach's grave and then he came back to shower and get us for his burial. After the ceremony was over Andrew said he wanted to help put the dirt back in and Jonathan said "I saw this coming". So Andrew went over behind Jonathan and "helped" hold the shovel to put the dirt back in (which hindered Jonathan's movements but he didn't complain about it). After about a minute Andrew, in a slight whine, asked how long it was going to take and without missing a beat Jonathan said "About twice as long as it normally would". Father of the year, right there.

Having my kids there helped. I didn't expect anything from them except that they'd be themselves and that would be enough to get me through and it was. They are such a joy, and so funny. It's hard, because on the one hand it reminds me of what I've lost in Zach's death, but on the other, I am still so very blessed to have had him at all. It was also good having Reina and Tom there. They wrangled for us (Tom especially went chasing after Luke several times). It was good having their support. They've been family for so long that they are family.

Anyway, we're leaving for PA in a few hours. The family there is very stressed with all the drama surrounding Nanny. Pappy (who can't really take care of himself) wants her to come home and it's just not good. I'm really not up for much more than what's on my own plate, but I am looking forward to seeing Nanny again. She slept most of the time we were there last.
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I woke up and felt a pop and went to the bathroom and thought that my water had broken. I thought I felt the baby about to come out, so I asked Jonathan to draw a bath for me and as soon as I sat in the water he came out (8:15am). His cord was still attached so I didn't pick him up, because I knew that if I pulled the cord, it could snap and I might not deliver the placenta. So we waited awhile and I really felt like I had to sit on the toilet, so after about an hour of waiting, I picked up Zach and Jonathan cut the cord. It was very nice holding him. He's about the size of my hand and it's clear that he's a boy. Jonathan held him for me while I moved to the toilet and I was finally in a good position to deliver the placenta.

I cried a bunch and I was okay too. I'm glad that I waited. Very glad. This was so much better.

We have pictures of him and we did a small foot print, but we've placed him in the box Jonathan made. I made a soft pillow to line it, and a blanket and a stuffed animal. We will likely have a burial sometime this week. I don't know that I want others there.

xposted in homebirth
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This is NOTHING personal at all, but I think I'm going to thin my flist a bit. Seriously, I have no hard feelings for anyone, but if you don't post ever or anything like that, I'm just going to thin things out.

However, if you do read and you just never post, it's completely cool and leave a comment and I'll leave you. My friend Amy reads, but never posts, and I know that- so just send me a message and let me know.

Thanks!! :-)

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Title: Final Request
Summary: Fred's Final Request
Rating: PG-13 (for mild language and drunken naming of things) :-D
Word Count: Too damn many to count

Okay, my recipient disappeared. Big surprise there :-D (me-not 10% smarter than the puter). Some of my flist have seen this, as I needed advice, but I retooled it quite a bit. It still didn't end up as fluffy as I wanted but *sigh* sometimes the muses just go that way.

*goes to check the master list from the link she stole from St.M*
Woohoo! Okay, so this is for i_phianassa She asked for: Romance I suppose, but anything goes! So it went more along the lines of "anything goes"

Thank you St.M for your very, very valuable advise before, Dennis for being my moral support and David for beta'ing at the very LAST possible second (which is how it always seems to be with me).

The masterlist for all of the Changing Seasons stories can be found here: http://r-becca.livejournal.com/579018.html

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